the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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