Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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