at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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