I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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