I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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