Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize