I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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