Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize