the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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