no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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