Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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