Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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