My balls are so social today.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize