I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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