the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If I die, sorry about rent.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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