Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize