I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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