is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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