Umm I'm too high to move.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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