At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
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I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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