Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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