I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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