You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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