Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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