My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize