So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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