I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize