what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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