I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize