I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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