listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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