I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
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he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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