I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize