Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize