Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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