I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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