ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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