If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize