He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dicks are not precious.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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