She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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