Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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