I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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