The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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