I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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