i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He did a backflip because drugs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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