My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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