Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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