Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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