My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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