So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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